 |
| Uncle Lukas and Halle |
When you're pregnant people like to tell you that life will never be the same.
"Your life will never be the same!," winked the grandmas in our neighborhood, blissed out with the grand-kids on Sunday strolls.
"Your life will never be the same!," huffed the dads at the store, Bjorns askew and eyes wild.
"Your life will never be the same!," yawned the moms everywhere, late night fatigue etched into the folds of their clothes.
It's like a mantra, half-warning, half-welcoming to the club of relinquishing all personal freedom for the care of a very little, incredibly demanding human. I don't know if these people are trying to scare the bejeezus out of the very pregnant (it's a little too late, folks), let out steam, or just be friendly, but the comment isn't very useful.
It is, however, very true.
Before we have children we assume that its truth lies in the technicalities of parenthood. No more movies until your child is toilet-trained. No restaurants between the ages of 2-5. Romance...(close your eyes and imagine my riotous laughter). These are big changes, but they aren't terrifying or even very life-altering.
No.
The real way in which a parent's life is never the same is love.
Love is not the same when all sanity is tied to the imperceptible breathing of a newborn. And then her smiles. And the way she leans herself into you like you are the safest place in the world to be. Because when you are a parent, you are a harbour, and it requires a whole new level of bravery to defend your little ship from everything in the world that scares you; and, to let her sail even when you are afraid for the return voyage.
On Monday I start work again and it's hard. Sometimes I feel like my love for Halle is going to drown me; sometimes Tom and I lay awake at night and whisper to each other, "I love her so much."
It's corny and it's banal and that's only because there are no right words to describe what it is to be a mom or a dad.
Your love will never be the same.
 |
| Mother's Day Picnic, 2012 |
